Hey — It’s Toffer.
I remember the feeling of almost diving to the ground but then slowly being straightened by the wind at 20-30 meters from the mark — the explosive start. I was 11 at 4’11 running a 100-meter dash against giants. I didn’t see anyone else ahead of me except the lady with the purple umbrella. She was Stopwatch-1 and she approached me at the finish line — my first gold, my first proper start, my only start that mattered.
Starts are messy and there’s probably no right way for me, but I’m definitely not going to start with the following three.
Estimated read time: 5 minutes
Do not start with passion
Of all the successful people I know who love what they do, none of them started with passion. Sure, skill was involved, but the passion wasn't there at the beginning. They honed their skills, became exceptionally good at what they did before they even started enjoying it, and then, eventually, they became passionate.
I've also seen people who turned hobbies into businesses — things they were initially crazy about. Now, they're completely dispassionate. Their hobby-turned-passion became nothing more than a job.
Here's a surprising fact: the advice to "start with passion" is actually a recent phenomenon, dating back only to the 1990s. There's no record of this advice before then. Even Steve Jobs, often cited as the poster child for passion-driven success, didn't begin with a burning passion for technology. He cultivated it over time.
I've come to realize that passion often hides in plain sight. Instead of chasing it directly, I think it's better to pursue mastery of a craft you care about. As you develop expertise, passion may emerge naturally. I believe we should shift our focus from finding passion to pursuing excellence. The passion we seek might just lie in the journey itself.
Do not start with subtraction
I believe the modern struggle is about fighting weaponized addictions like alcohol, drugs, pornography, processed foods, and social media. These addictions provide small doses of pleasure but also desensitize us and expose us to the misery of their absence.
To break these addictions, I believe it's more important to perfect our desires than to rely on self-discipline — subtraction. With healthy eating, for example, we should find the tastiest healthy foods we like and make sure they are always available, rather than constantly fighting cravings for unhealthy options.
With technology, instead of starting with tactics like turning off notifications, deactivating social media, or banning your phone from your bedroom, begin by figuring out a vision. Determine what you're all about, what you care about, and what you want to do. Then work backwards and decide what tech supports that.
This is accepting the fact that humans are good at committing to positive changes, but struggle with avoiding negative behaviors. The thought, “I think I use Facebook too much, so I'm going to try to use it less”, rarely works. What does work is: “I have a vision for my life that's incredibly positive and fulfilling. I'm excited about it, and, as it happens, that vision doesn't include Facebook”.
Do not start with forever in mind
“Walang forever,” said Ate who just got rejected, unknowingly stumbling upon a core tenet of Stoic philosophy: memento mori — remember that you will die — that instead of starting with the impossible notion that there is no end, the Stoics suggest we (literally) start with the end in mind.
This serves as a reminder that our time is limited and that we should make the most of each day, rather than taking anything for granted or postponing important things.
After living just a few days with this mindset, the ordinary becomes extraordinary. You'll find yourself in constant awe of the mundane, and you'll realize, “What a wonderfully ordinary life it has been.”
Your Friend in Time,
Toffer