Hey — It’s Toffer.
A self-centered schmuck.
This week, while spending time with my siblings, my sister pointed out something that struck a chord. She remarked on how we were all raised to be independent and self-sufficient, yet we seem to struggle when it comes to something as fundamental as listening.
As if on cue, I interjected with an insight from a book I’ve been reading. It explores the idea of transcending the self and embracing a life of service — what’s often referred to as “The Second Mountain.”1
But my brother, always the sharpest in the group, remained unmoved. He simply stated that he's not wired that way.
Estimated read time: 5 minutes
🧑🤝🧑 Me, Myself
Truth is, I’m wired like my brother. Maybe not as systematic and smart as he, but just as focused — focused on myself. I’m also the worst listener, especially when it comes to stuff I don’t like. And the worst part is, sometimes I don’t even like myself.
We lead two lives: one we currently live, and one we’re capable of.
The latter are the days I feel like I can conquer anything — my higher self. But most days are the former — unmotivated days — my regular self. Even if I have a clear grasp of what to do, even if it makes perfect sense to move, I actually won’t. I have an execution problem.
I tried hacking it2: I added play to everything I do; I approached things differently to add a sense of power. But nothing seemed to work.
Surprisingly, what was effective was bringing people into the equation. If I’m doing something that can potentially change someone's life, even just a little, I get a sense of purpose — something play and power couldn’t provide.
Self-improvement starts with the self, but for me, to reach self-mastery, involving others is the key.
🕰️ Time
Time is an extra employee hired by the boss to work under me. “Extra” — meaning proactive and annoying. If nothing is assigned at 10 am, when 10 am arrives, Time bugs me with something. Suddenly, I'm working under Time.
To manage Time, I need to give it a job first. Otherwise, it’ll end up managing me.
Time is also impatient. It won’t wait for my higher self to deal with my regular self before assigning tasks. So when the time arrives to do something, my regular, unmotivated self prevails.
Somebody clearly needs to go, and I cannot do anything with Time.
We have two lives, and the second begins when we realize we only have one.
Your Friend in Time,
Toffer
David Brooks' book The Second Mountain: The Quest for a Moral Life describes two metaphorical mountains individuals climb: the first mountain is about personal success and achievement, while the second mountain focuses on finding deeper purpose through service to others and commitment to higher principles
Hacking it draws inspiration from Ali Abdaal's book Feel Good Productivity. In his book, Abdaal discusses strategies for enhancing productivity and well-being, focusing on what he terms the 3 Ps: play, power, and people. These principles emphasize the importance of incorporating enjoyable activities, leveraging personal agency, and fostering meaningful connections with others to improve overall productivity and satisfaction.